Don't you just love this? SOooo funny!
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci Bag we assume
that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so
that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
Saturday and Sunday.
Skinny size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get to eat more so that
they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
maintain their average figure.
Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed
to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill
If you are sick and go to the doctor and the doctor gives you a note
for the excused day for sickness, you will not be excused. If you are
able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.
There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of
three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract,
the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second
offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board
"Chronic Offender" category.
As long as you are employee here, you need all your organs.
You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have
something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations,
aggravations,insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation,
consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week!
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
6. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
7. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
8. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
9. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
10. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
11. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
12. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
13. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
14. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
15. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
16. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
17. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
18. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I love this video! My grandma sent me the link. It's just over 3 minutes.
You've probably seen this before. It's been passed around a couple of times in e-mail, I believe. I thought it was great! Perhaps you will too! :)
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
- The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- A thief fell in wet cement. and broke his leg . He became a hardened criminal.
- Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
- We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.
- The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
- If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
- What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
- A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
- If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
- With each marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
- When a clock is really hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
- You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
- He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
- A calendar's days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
- A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
- When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture: a jab well done.
- There was the person who sent forty-two different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Well, dear readers, I suppose it is my duty (and privilege) to now journal about the Clarion Speech Tournament, now that I have already done so with the Appletree Tournament. :) Here goes...
The tournament experience (in my opinion) actually began the day before, when our guests arrived. We hosted the Haugens. Mrs. Haugen was assisting my parents direct the tournament, so it was splendid to have them here. With Mrs. Haugen came her two sons, both competitors, and Meagan Shea, a speech club alumni. We were all delighted to get to know them, and spent the entire evening swapping morbid pet stories with Grayson and Cale Haugen. :) My grandmother, and her friend Jeanne Barnes, stayed with us also. The group of us had a refreshing prayer meeting in the living room that night, and then retired 'til the next morning.
I had intended on setting my alarm clock for 4:30 am, but forgot, and consequently slept in an hour. I had visuals to complete for my expository speech, you see, and I needed to shower, iron my clothes, dress, eat breakfast and load my easel, boards, and decorative curtain in the van, by 6:30 am. Boy, was I in a rush! Stress! My clothes where never ironed (I wore them anyways ;) ), and the breakfast was never consumed, but hey, I managed! I rode with the Haugens since they were leaving first;( I was supposed to show up at the tournament early to practice with my duo partner on our speech) but with my bad directions :(, we showed up even later than the rest of my family! Oh well.
People started showing up, and we all met for worship and orientation in the fellowship hall. The rounds started, and I was to give my expos. Just outside the competition room for expository, I discovered that some velcro on my visuals board had torn loose, and I had no way to fix it. Stress! Someone ran and got me some scotch tape. It was tacky, but I managed. Anyways, my round went well, the duo with Stephanie turned out fantastic every time, and I pulled a good impromptu topic: "Two heads are better than one", where I spoke on the benefits of marriage.
That night, we had a dinner and dance at a nearby school gym. I forgot to bring a change of clothes, so I danced in my professional suit. That was fun. :) I had to avoid being asked to dance, though.
We got home late, and the shower wasn't available for a good half hour.
I got up early the next morning, things were less hectic, my visuals being complete and all. The tournament went well that day. Although, I felt perpetually queasy and nauseous with adrenaline and a nervous stomach. I broke into finals in both impromptu and duo. My impromptu was poor, the worst I'd done all weekend, but the duo went best as ever. I enjoyed prayer with fellow competitors, very reassuring.
I also had alot of fun playing cards in a back room with friends during tabulations, it helped relieve stress. The competition results were announced that evening at the awards ceremony; I qualified for regionals in all three events, and got a sweepstakes award to boot! I was thrilled! Everyone thought differently, though. Because I was so emotionally and physically exhausted, I didn't looked particularly jazzed when I received the awards. I was jazzed--inwardly, at any rate! :) The Haugens left that night, and we had a pizza party after the tournament. What a weekend! I do so love speech tournaments. God has been so gracious, wouldn't you agree?
With Toil cometh Treasure
By Alexa SleaddThe rays of the morning sun broke over the mountains bordering the fertile valley, which belonged to Farmer Zonk, who was wading in an icy fast flowing stream with a measuring stick in his hands. Giving a wet cough and scrambling up the bank out of the water, he made his way toward the Farm house just across the field. He had been making plans to build a water mill in the stream for grinding the corn, wheat and barley that he grew every year. Due to the lack of wading gaiters, he caught a raging fever and was confined to 2 weeks bed rest. Unfortunately, Farmer Zonk never recovered, and while lying on his death bed, he called his lazy sons to his side so he could do the customary wheezing of farewells in their faces which is always done in these kind of stories. Because he feared for his family’s welfare, he fibbed and told his lazy sons Zoot and Zort of a hidden treasure in one of his many fields. After these last words, he died (that always happens in these stories too). After their late father's funeral, Zoot and Zort were soon frenetically digging through every square inch of soil on Zonk’s land. 8 weeks and 25 acres later of hard digging, the not-so-lazy sons threw down their shovels, exasperated, and set tired feet toward home to bandage blistered hands. Little did they know that behind their backs was extremely valuable land, already plowed and aerated! That harvest yielded an exorbantly abundant crop; tomatoes, onions, potatoes, pumpkins, corn, wheat, barley, carrots, cucumbers, lettuce and beans, and much, much more. It finally dawned on Zoot and Zort that the treasure they had searched so long and hard for was the fruits of their own toil.
My 'Schitzoid' Dog
by Alexa Sleadd
Macy is my dog. There are all sorts of peculiarities about her, but they make us love her all the more. Being mostly jet black, she’s got a white belly, tan muzzle and tan legs. Macy’s an average size dog.
Surprisingly, Macy is absolutely terrified of The Trumpet. All the other instruments in our family get played during music practice at the same time as the trumpet, so now she associates any instrument with it and is terrified of them all too. During music practice, Macy gulps, shivers and quakes uncontrollably, sports a forlorn expression and curls up. As soon as you discontinue playing, she jumps up, wags and whips her tail in pathetic celebration, grins and lets her tongue hang out. Very bizarre, if you ask me.
What Macy does to boon her fear and terror, is she lays down in the middle of the street, and has her fit spells right there on the pavement. It must help somehow, because she does it so often. You might get the impression that she’s a coward, but I’m sure she believes herself to be quite the cool, courageous canine. I’ll tell you why. About twice a week, a skinny moustached guy wearing funny little brown shorts parks his diesel UPS.truck in our drive way to deliver packages. In Macy’s mind, she sees an intruder with juicy ankles and suspicious-looking mustachios, so what does she do? Oh, the usual. Barks her head off, bears her teeth, chases the fellow down the driveway into his truck, biting the front tires (who knows why) and then runs after him 100 yards up the street. Waltzing back proudly, she pokes her nose in the air and eyes us intently, expecting a heartfelt show of appreciation. Very bizarre, if you ask me. If you happen to be sitting on the floor, or even the dirt outside, Macy will sit *plop* in your lap. Unfortunately, she's too large to be a lap dog , but she’s one none the less. Macy can respond to several words such as “Come”, “sit”, “stay”, “lay down”, “Macy”, “You wanna go bye-bye?” and several others. Bye-bye means a car ride and she goes nuts if you so much as whisper it. She’ll claw at the door to get out, then race to the car door and claw to in. She also responds to tone of voice, so you can say ”Good Girl!” and make her hang her head and tuck her tail between her legs if you say it in a stern tone. Either that or “Macy, you’re such a dumb dog.” said in a loving tone, and she’ll love you all the more. Although she may be a Schitzoid, and sometimes silly, we all love her as part of the family.
Actually, Macy is extremely clever. In her mind she knows she’s not allowed out on the street, but during music practice, she yearns for her daily asphalt therapy, so she uses the sneakiest ways to escape over the fence. Around the house, through the bush, zigzagging all over the place to lose us, she’d often times cling to the walls of the house and crawl under the windows so we couldn't see her. Because the driveway is wide open exposed space, Macy has to make a desperate dash to get out the front gate. Some times she’d slam herself against it, which would literally bend the metal, and she’d slip through and go lay in the street. Nathan was coming up with all sort of locks and traps for the gate, but they all proved useless against our schitzoid dog. He even tied blocks of wood with several 3” screws jutting out to the gate, but we’d come out and find bits of bloody fur stuck to them. We gave that up perty quick. Pouring cement under the fence to keep her from digging underneath it, we found, did no good. Now we’ve gotten smart and just chain her up during music. One time she snapped the chain too. Often times she hurts herself trying to escape. It’s baffling, how can she be so brilliantly clever, but so stupid. Very bizarre if you ask me. I think she’s swell, and I hope you do too by now.
Here's a silly story I wrote as a school assignment. It's another version of "The Lion and the Shepherd", you know, that story where the lion has a thorn in its paw and the shepherd helps him out. Later, the lion repays his kindness when the shepherd is 'thrown to the lions'. Hope you enjoy it:
Goosh, Gwauck, and the Gourmet Gunk
Goosh, who was a mischievous little earthworm, was wallowing in the muddy yard outside the chicken coop. Chickens were a worm’s greatest foe, but Oh! The soil was so rich! The dirt in his worm community had been, let’s say, recycled many times over, leaving it, in a worm’s opinion, very tasteless. This dirt was seventh heaven!
He failed to notice the lone hen sitting miserably in the corner of the yard, but soon did when she called out to him, beseechingly.
“Please help me! My feet are stuck in muck and droppings that have caked hard as stone. I promise I will not eat you!” She teared up and started bawling.
Goosh cautiously considered, and began inching toward her sympathetically, in a wormy sort of way. He quickly engulfed and recycled the dirt in an amazingly speedy fashion, excavating the stuff from around her feet. The hen, delighted, shook her feathers of recycled dirt, and clucked,
“Oh thank you so much! I was afraid I’d meet me doom in this dirt. I’m Gwauck, and I’m exceptionally pleased to meet you.”
“The name’s Goosh. Anytime. Delighted.” He gulped, terrified, because he was getting for the first time, a close look at a chicken’s sharp beak and beady never-blinking red eyes.
She waddled off, as Goosh made his escape, relieved.
Time passed and Goosh forgot his encounter with Gwauck. But things underground in the earthworm community were getting heated. There had always been a shortage of good dirt, so when a large amount was stolen from a gourmet restaurant, the penalty for the guilty was to be severe. Every finger (or whatever worms use to point with) was pointed at Goosh, because he was known to have a weakness for delicious dirt. But this time he was innocent, yet no one would listen. Every worm eventually meets his end down a chicken gullet, so the worm officials supposed that would be fitting for this execution. Down a chicken gullet, Goosh would go, was the official verdict. Worms have tunnels and networks everywhere, and it was determined by public vote, that Goosh would be shoved up tunnel x14L8pR-Q, which comes out smack dab in the middle of the chicken coop. Goosh was horrified. He was poked and prodded up the tunnel, guards behind him blocking his escape. Closer, closer, closer they got to the exit. Suddenly they found themselves in broad daylight! One of the hens had unwittingly scratched a hole right where the tunnel came out, earlier that day. The guards scratched their bald heads, wondering,
” But the tunnel’s not to end yet! We should have at least five more inches to go still. What in earth has happened?”
They were in center of the chicken coop, surrounded by squawking fowl, who had instantly caught sight of them and were momentarily salivating. (Wait- do chickens salivate?)
The group of 6 worms waited patiently for further orders as the chickens made their move. Goosh quaked with terror as 15 hens closed in, all with the intention of ruthless slaughter. In his perspective, every thing went to slow motion. Beside him, a guard was snatched up by a greedy Rhode Island Red, while another was being fought over by two fat White Leghorns! Goosh was sure he’d be next. Suddenly, everything went black. Surprised, he found himself bathed in golden light, sprawled on the dirt with Gwauck grinning at him. Supposing he was in the worm afterlife, he asked, dazed,
“Are you an angel?”.
“Oh no, silly. It’s me, Gwauck, I just caught you up in my mouth and brought you here, safe from my silly sisters!”
“Oh, but where am I?” questioned Goosh.
“Outside the coop, in someone else’s yard! I escaped out of a secret tear in the wire fence, that only I know about, and dropped you down here! Isn’t it splendid? Oh, well, tata!”
With that, she took off into the air, and squeezed her massive personage back through the fence.
And here our story ends; Goosh meets the owners of the rich soil underneath him, a homeschooling worm family with 8 children,(All of whom attend a speech club) where he stays and lives with them, eating gourmet dirt every meal with his new found family, remaining fast friends with Gwauck and lived happily ever after.
See, I told you it was wacky:)
What should be done with them? Today, I’d like to share with you about The Plight of the Snowflakes; beginning with first of all The Procedure, secondly, The options, and finally; The Solutions.
IVF: The Procedure
IVF is the abbreviation for In Vitro Fertilization. “In Vitro” is Latin for “In Glass”. IVF is a medical process whereby human eggs are fertilized in a glass laboratory dish. Thousands of couples each year seek IVF as a solution to infertility.
Now, the first step in IVF is the female patient is given a drug to cause the overproduction of human eggs; also called ova. Next, the embryologists aspirate (meaning extract) the ova with a hollow needle and then fertilize them under a microscope. This is called assisted hatching.
When the eggs are fertilized, biologically, human life begins. Let’s take a look in that Petri dish.
This is a high magnification of one of the several fertilized ova. This is no longer an ovum, but a conceptus. Today in my presentation, I’m going to use the broader term embryo rather than conceptus.
Over the next few days, the embryos divide and divide, creating more cells. These embryos, from the point of conception, can survive up to 5 days in the Petri dish. At the time of implantation in the mother, the embryos can consist of merely 8 cells (at two days old), or even of hundreds, as a spherical blastocysts (at 5 days old).
But size-wise, the embryos are still smaller than the point of a needle. The next step is the Embryologist grades the quality of the embryos. The deformed embryos are discarded and the healthiest ones are implanted in the mother. Extra embryos are retrieved, just in case those implanted in the mother do not survive. These extras are submerged in a light bluish-purple liquid that functions as an anti-freeze and are placed in either capsules or straws. The capsules or straws are set in a controlled rate freezer where the temperature is steadily dropped down to 195 degrees below zero (Celsius), the anti-freeze solution preventing the embryos from icing over, which would destroy them. The embryos are transferred to these tanks containing liquid nitrogen, where they are stored until the parents decide what to do with them. Currently there are more than 400,000 frozen embryos in
Let’s return to those implanted embryos in the mother. Unfortunately, IVF embryos don’t have much of a chance of surviving the transfer, so typically, two to four embryos at a time are inserted in the womb, to ensure a definite pregnancy. Occasionally, more than one embryo will survive in the womb, blessing the once childless couple with twins, or even triplets.
So basically, In Vitro Fertilization is the stimulation, aspiration and fertilization of ova, and the grading, implanting and freezing of embryos. Now that you have learned the basics about the IVF procedure, let’s move on.
Most often, after IVF, the parents no longer need or want their frozen embryos. But what can be done with them?
There are several options, in fact. The First? To throw them away. This option is called embryo disposal. Embryo disposal consists mainly of either throwing the capsule or straw containing the frozen embryo into a trash bin, or flushing the Snowflakes down the sink. Unfortunately, there are severe moral and ethical hindrances to this procedure. Because human life biologically begins at conception and since life deserves dignity and respect at any point of development, this option is ethically immoral.
The Second option is to donate the snowflakes to research. Embryonic Stem Cell Research. Perhaps you’ve heard it mentioned before. I’ll call it ESCR. Briefly, ESCR is the harvesting of embryos for stem cells. Stem cells have a potential to be formed into many types of tissue, to repair damaged organs in one’s body.
Only embryos that were frozen as blastocysts can be used in this procedure. Here’s why: only the blastocyst has this collection of cells inside. These are embryonic stem cells. ESCR is the confiscation of these cells using an aspirating device. The process destroys the embryo/blastocyst, a tragic occurrence that must not be continued. In fact, it is not even necessary. David Prentice, an author whose work was featured in The Examiner in July writes,” Adult stem cells have helped treat thousands of patients for at least 72 different diseases and conditions.” He also mentions that embryonic stem cells, when tested in mice, have caused tumors, by reproducing uncontrollably. Many scientists claim that ESCR is more promising than Adult Stem Cell Research, but why then is it not keeping its promise? Clearly, donating frozen embryos for ESCR is a morally unethical.
The third option is to donate the Snowflakes to an adoption agency, where adopting couples can thaw, implant, gestate and give birth to the children. Snowflake children are normal people, just like you and me! They are not deformed or abnormal in any way. Snowflakes Adoption helps solve the problem of the more than 400,000 frozen snowflakes that are waiting for a chance for life. Of the three options, this is superior, because it gives life, rather than destroying it. Because this option is the most favorable, I would now like to further develop it in my third point.
Embryo adoption is a solutions to the tragedy of embryo disposal and destruction. Here is additional information on snowflake adoption: First, meet Adam and Allison, a fictional couple, who have left-over embryos that they would like to donate. And now meet Brandon and Bree, a couple who are unable to have children, and wish to adopt a child from a Snowflake Adoption Agency. Here is how the process works:
Adam and Allison must first fill out an application disclosing their medical and genetic history. They can choose whether to donate and remain anonymous, or they can view various applications filled out by adopting couples, and select the couple of their choice. They decide to go with the second option. Out of all the applications reviewed, Adam and Allison both decide on Brandon and Bree, to be the parents of their child. The couple is then contacted and correspondence is established between the two. The Adoption Agency then pays to have Adam and Allison’s frozen embryos shipped from their IVF clinic. Everything is free for Adam and Allison. The cost for Brandon and Bree is about $8,000 dollars.
Bree has an appointment scheduled at the medical clinic where she is sedated, making the embryo implantation a painless procedure. Two snowflake embryos are slowly thawed and are surgically placed just so in her womb. 9 months later, Brandon and Bree have a beautiful baby boy. They send photos of little Ian to his biological parents and correspondence is continued between the two families throughout Ian’s life. Adam and Allison are ensured of a happy and healthy home environment for their son.
This is an example of an Embryo adoption where correspondence is held to a high degree. Many times the Adopting couple does not ever meet the donating couple, and the adoption Agency lets everything remain anonymous. Embryo adoption is only one of the solutions to saving frozen embryos. There are various ways to further protect them. Such as; laws passed to ban embryonic stem cell research. ESCR has been denied federal funding, but state funding remains available in a few states.
By now, I hope that you have learned valuable information, on first of all IVF: The solution to Infertility, a brief explanation of how In Vitro Fertilization and Embryo freezing works, secondly The Options, about the various choices that parents have concerning their frozen embryos, and finally The Solutions, ways to solve the problem of those thousands of snowflakes in storage. As I conclude, let us remember
Here, let me fill you in on The Ride, The Tournament, The Prayers.
We (The Clarion Speech club I'm apart of) met up real early at a gas station in town, then we carpooled from there up to Portland, then split up to Seattle. I rode with all the girls in the Anderson's big van, and that's where it all started. Mrs. Deems (a mother of some of my fellow club members) had us all memorizing scripture.
"Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom. Singing Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God." Collossians 3:16
The funny thing was, several of the girls kept on saying "teaching and abolishing one another" accidentally, so now, whenever I try to recite that verse, I smile whenever I get to that part. :) But that scripture memory really helped me get things into perspective, that this whole tournament wasn't for me, but for my Father, in heaven, of Whom it is my purpose in life to glorify and enjoy forever. I was in the middle of memorizing a speech on frozen embryos, so I was kinda stressed out, but the fellowship, laughter, and accountability in that van put me at ease. We pulled into Portland for fast-food lunch, where My grandma and I met up with my cousin, Kelly, for lunch. (She lives with her husband in Portland) Then the whole gang of competitors piled up again, and we rode up to Seattle, Washington.
The Appletree Tournament was a national qualifier, meaning competitors getting 1st or 2nd place would directly qualify for Nationals, skipping Regionals. Whoever else made it to finals would qualify for regionals. So in other words, there were a ton of people there, over 250 student competitors, I think, and alot of adrenaline. The 'Tourney' was held the Crista Christian Campus or something like that, which was basically an academy with Elementary, Jr. High, and highschool facilities, so it was pretty big, and, unfortunately, spread out, supplying me with foot blisters aplenty. :( The campus facilities where gorgeous tudor style buildings, one with a touch of gothic 'cathedral' intracacies, very lovely, in other words. But the insides of the buildings were old and ugly, with exterior plumbing, you know, those ugly water pipes stuck to the ceilings, gurling and ticking ominously. But anyways, the first night we were there, we had a dinner and dance, which I thoroughly enjoyed, and, when that was over, we went to my mom's cousin Vipi's house, where she hosted us for the weekend. I competed the next day, and on my very first round, I dropped my visuals in front of the judges, Aaaaaagh. I hoped they wouldn't mark me down for it. I got to see numerous other students compete in Team policy debate, humorous, dramatic, and duo interprations. I had a splendid time. We had an exhilirating game of ultimate frisbee during a break, but it left me feeling sick afterwards, sadly.
I was shocked to break into semi-finals, and even more surprised to break into finals, getting sixth place, and qualifying for Regionals.
Throughout the whole tournament, I was praying like crazy. Simple, short, but agitated prayers, asking for courage, smooth words, a clear mind, and a heart focused on God's will not mine. I don't recall asking for a winning record but God was extremely gracious in throwing that in as part of the package. I still don't think it was any of my own doing. After dropping my boards, having a crummy easel, going over-time, flubbing my script, not having my visuals covered at the beginning of my presentation, and many other things, I knew I got sixth place only by the grace of God. That, my friends, is the power of prayer. The power is not held in the hands of the pray-er, but in the grasp of the Prayer Answerer. :)
In whole, the Tournament was an amazing experience. I hope you've enjoyed reading about The Ride, The Tournament, and The Prayers. Maybe God will soon (if He has not already) reveal to you the power of prayer, as He has so graciously done for me. Thank you for your time.