A novel idea

1:14 PM

I started imagining a novel in my head.
And so I tried typing up a synopsis.
The adjectives that tickered their way out on the page to describe the main character were precocious, passionate, indecisive, sentimental, and tad bit moody. Not given to planning ahead.

Now, I decided at some point that the main character should fall in love.
But then deciding what kind of character to invent for the heroine to love was torturous.
Should he be bookish, impossibly brilliant, and secretly rich, with a passion for quirky contraptions, poetry, and fencing?
Or maybe he ought to be methodically patient and disciplined with an incredible tolerance for doing the same thing over and over for a long time. Perhaps he never gets confused or flustered and always has a plan?
But then clumsy and charmingly boyish sounds just as endearing! Imagine him playing the accordion for his horse!
Should he live in a dilapidated light house on a windy cliff, or in a rustic cabin on the edge of lush wilderness? A fighter or a peacemaker, a trailblazer or a settler, oh I CAN'T DECIDE!

Then I wondered why the girl was so much easier to invent. That was when it occurred to me...I was writing myself into my own fantasy and I couldn't decide what I wanted in life. Like, just having them get married and settled down sounded positively boring. The barn needs to burn, or maybe they become missionaries to  barbaric tribes or maybe they smuggle slaves to freedom! And if they have kids, there have to be a LOT of kids because anything less would be dull.
Perhaps they solve a murder mystery or invent a special sauce. Perhaps he has to go to war, and she does some espionage to save his life. *Sigh*

I think I live in constant terror of living a boring, meaningless life. Sticking with any one thing feels like missing out on all the other exciting possibilities! Marrying a Steady means not marrying a Visionary. Getting married means not traveling the world. Traveling the world means not making a home!!

But I've not been called to write my story, I've been called to discover the mystery, intrigue and beauty in the story that is being written for me. And no matter where I look, no matter where the page-turns take me I will always be walking the brightest, awesomest, ultimatest, most epicful tale there ever was.
A tale of a wandering "orphan child, dirty, lost, alone and wild". Starved by Self, enslaved to Pride and Sin.
Captivated by GRACE and Loved with a dying breath of a suffering Savior.
Treasured by a FLAWLESS man, the SON of GOD.
Stripped naked of the moldy rags of fake righteousness.
Washed of the putrid filth I'd tried to hide.
Clothed in the purity and glow of His beauty, made to LOOK LIKE HIM!!!
And one day, to see His face and be lost in eternal communion with Him.

If I never accomplish anything great I'm still a SINNER SAVED BY GRACE, if I marry a couch potato I'm still a SINNER SAVED BY GRACE, if my health and youth waste away and I stare at a wall for the rest of my life I'm still a SINNER SAVED BY GRACE and no one can beat that story.

I don't need a handsome boy to save me, I'm already saved. I don't need to be thinner, blonder, prettier, more clever, and better at inventing casseroles. I don't need the next Macintosh manifestation or matching towels or a penny to my name or even mad Photoshop rendering skills to be 100% what God wants me to be.

Now there's a novel idea.

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