Bigger than Normal

8:23 AM

Reality Therapy
What do you want? What are you doing to get it? How's that working for you?

It makes for my favorite kind of question; the surprise that comes when first asked, then the delving, best of all the struggle in saying.

I think I started asking myself this when I was in my younger teens. I'd watch friends break rules, break hearts, and break themselves. Why would they want that? I'd wonder. If that's not what they want, why are they trying so hard to get it? Sex, drugs and virtual realities; so predictable.

We all want. We want more than we do anything else, probably.
So why is it so hard to say what we want most? Perhaps our deepest selves aren't words but currents and to translate the sacred feels degrading. 
It's cool to pretend you're different, unique, original, but you're not. Let me guess, you want bigger-than-normal. Every desire boils down to I-want-more-bigger-better-than-normal. Go ahead, prove me wrong. There's a word for it: transcendence.

When I realized this, I started thinking hard about how I could get what I wanted. Seriously, I've read that sex within marriage off-the-charts rocks promiscuity in satisfaction, fulfillment, and not to mention pleasure. Oh, and prolonged health, vitality and sensation totally beat rotting my brains out for fleeting moments of chemical pleasure. Building something for myself beats taking someone else's. Living beats vegging.

The day you realize Pleasure is deeper, sweeter when waited for, that's the day you start getting what you want.

The glorious best-kept-secret in life is this. To be changed is not to curb desires and stifle wants, but to WANT MORE, DESIRE DEEPER.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” -CS LEWIS

I'm implementing this actually as an arsenal against sin and doubt in my life. When I'm tempted to gratify my impulses, I can choose to want more. Isn't that the key to faith, anyway? Faith is hope acted upon, a deposit towards a future reward. When I'm doubting and disbelieving, though I used to think try harder, just will to have more faith, I ask for stronger desire, for a greater appetite, if you will. 

Ultimately we believe in what we want to believe in. I see this more and more. We are creatures of equal parts reason and sensation. You can debate circles around an atheist, but until he wearies of the dead-end his worldview prescribes and desires something bigger than carbon, you're getting nowhere. There are plenty of people filling the church already who mentally assent to God but have no desire for Him. 

So face your faith. What is it based on? Arguments, theses, premises, suppositions, whatnot? Nah. The power is in your DESIRES. 

Know what you want and find out how to get it. 

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